THURSDAY, OCTOBER 24 / 7:30AM – 8:20AM / ROOM – DANNER WEST

SPEAKER: Amy C. Yip, Founder, Somatic & Mental Fitness Coach, Amy Yip Coaching

SESSION TITLE: Stop Saying Yes to Everything and Start Asking for What You Want!

SESSION DESCRIPTION:

Are you tired of feeling overwhelmed by the constant pressure to say “yes” to everything? Do you struggle to ask for what you need and want? It’s time to unlock the wisdom of your body and break free from the stress that comes with people-pleasing. In this transformative workshop we’ll explore the art of setting boundaries, expressing your needs, and confidently saying no as essential tools for cultivating a life of health and wellness. Through this experiential journey, you’ll discover effective techniques to assert your boundaries, communicate your needs, and confidently ask for what you truly want so that saying a “yes” becomes a deliberate choice and not an obligation.

Field of Study: Personal Development

Program Level: Overview / 1 CPE credit / non-technical

Prerequisites: None

Advance Preparation: None

Speaker BIO:

Amy Yip is a Somatic and Mental Fitness coach, keynote speaker, self-confidence trainer, and the author of Unfinished Business: Breaking Down the Great Wall Between Adult Child and Immigrant Parents. She works with women of color to strengthen their mental fitness, heal their intergenerational wounds, and have agency to let go of all the ‘shoulds’ so that they can be the authors of their own life stories. In Jan 2020, after 16+ years of building and leading global teams in organizations including Google, Clorox, and Booz Allen, Amy left the corporate world, sold everything, and took a one-way flight to Ghana with her husband to volunteer at a breast cancer nonprofit and travel the world. COVID-19 shifted their plans; they got stuck in Ghana for seven months.

Email: amy@amyyipcoaching.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amycyip

Website: ttps://amyyipcoaching.com

LEARN MORE NOW! SESSION ARTICLE!

Stop Saying Yes to Everything (and Start Asking for What You Want!)

By Amy Yip

Most of us want to say ‘no’ more often, yet we default to ‘yes’. Even when overwhelmed and with a full plate, we still hesitate to say ‘no’. What gives?

As human beings, we crave connection and validation, so we often say ‘yes’ to requests and favors to please those around us. However, this can lead to stress, overwhelm and eventually resentment if we can’t set boundaries.

Good news! It is possible to learn to say no (and even to ask for what you want) to protect your time and maintain balance.

Why Saying ‘No’ Is Important.

Saying no can be daunting, particularly for women. The challenge of asserting boundaries and communicating personal limitations is ingrained in societal norms, often leading many of us to feel obligated to accommodate the demands and requests of others. But saying ‘no’ is important. Here’s why.

  • Protecting Your Time and Energy: Saying ‘no’ allows you to prioritize your own commitments and responsibilities, ensuring that you have enough time and energy to focus on what truly matters to you, while preventing burnout and maintaining a healthier balance.
  • Maintaining Personal Boundaries: Being able to say ‘no’ reinforces your self-respect and ensures that others respect your limits. This is essential for healthy relationships, as it prevents you from feeling resentful or taken advantage of.
  • Enhancing Quality of Work and Life: By declining tasks that do not align with your goals or values, you can focus on what matters to you, leading to more fulfillment and satisfaction.

Why It Can Feel Hard to Say ‘No’, Especially for Women.

Saying no is an act of self-empowerment. It signifies a willingness to prioritize personal needs, values, and well-being. We all know how to pronounce the simple two-letter word: ‘no’. So why is saying it aloud so hard?

  • Fear of Disapproval: Many fear that saying ‘no’ will lead to disappointment, anger, or rejection from others, making it difficult to prioritize personal needs over the expectations and desires of others.
  • Desire to Be Helpful: Being polite, helpful and accommodating are often emphasized as positive characteristics for women. This can result in hestancy to assert desires and a tendency to say ‘yes’ even at the cost of overcommitting or compromising personal well-being.
  • Cultural and Societal Pressures: Expectations of cooperation, selflessness and putting others first, especially for women who are often taught to be ‘nice girls’ from a young age, can make asserting personal boundaries feel selfish.
  • Lack of Practice and Confidence: Just like riding a bike or playing a sport, saying ‘no’ is a skill that requires practice and confidence. Unfortunately, most of us have been practicing saying ‘yes’ our entire lives. Saying ‘no’ is like having to get on the bike the very first time. It feels uncomfortable and unfamiliar. So we default to what is comfortable: saying ‘yes’.
  • Fear of Missing Opportunities: Fear of lost chances or future regret about missed opportunities, experiences or connections can drive reluctance to ‘no’.

What Can You Do About It?

When you say ‘yes’ to something, you’re saying ‘no’ to something else. So it’s important to be intentional with where we’re placing our energy and learn to say ‘no’ more.

  • Practice ‘No’ with a ‘No’ Diet. Go on a ‘no’ diet for two weeks. Your default will be ‘no’ for all requests and favors. Be sure to tell all your friends and colleagues and ask that they call you out if you say ‘yes’. They’ll love being able to call you out! The more you practice, the easier it will be to say ‘no’, even in challenging situations.
  • Define Your Boundaries. We all talk about boundaries all the time, but few of us have sat down and mapped it out. What’s within your boundaries? Outside your boundaries? In the gray area? And what are the rules for things that fall in the gray space? When you define your boundaries, you gain clarity on what is acceptable and what is not.
  • Use Authentic ‘No’ Responses. Use responses that feel authentic like:
    • “That sounds fun, but I can’t make it.”
    • “I have a commitment already. Maybe next time.”
    • “I have a lot on my plate. I’ll have to take a raincheck.”

Remember: You cannot control how others feel or respond. The only thing you do have control over is how you feel and respond. So stop saying yes to everything and start asking for what you want!

As Melinda Gates said, ‘A woman with a voice is, by definition, a strong woman.’

BIO/LINKS FOR THE ARTICLE:

Amy Yip is a Somatic & Mental Fitness Executive coach, keynote speaker, award-winning author, and self-confidence trainer. She’s also a 2X TEDx speaker. Amy works with women of to strengthen their mental fitness, heal intergenerational wounds, find their voice and the courage to speak up, and have agency to let go of all the ‘shoulds’ so that they can be the authors of their own life stories.

Connect with Amy: